Diabetic Burnout
Hi, Everyone!
I first must apologize AGAIN for my lack of posts in recent months. I promised I would be more active, but I realized I had started a lot of things all at once and we were almost a year into the Covid Pandemic, and I think it all kind of caught up with me. So, I took a break, but I am back! This post is going to be about diabetic burnout. Yes, that is a real thing and real term! (I didn’t really know that for a long time) But, many people experience it and I don’t think it is discussed nearly enough, especially because I think it can happen in varying levels. It isn’t just a ‘one size fits all’ narrative.
Most of the time, diabetic burnout is described as “state of disillusion, frustration and somewhat submission to the condition of diabetes. Burnout can be characterized by a person's complete disregard for their blood sugar levels.” Now, this is a very simplified idea of what it is. I really think it is allowing the constant vigilance of diabetes wear you down. It’s watching what you eat all day, every day. It’s taking insulin countless times. It’s carb counting. It’s thinking 4 hours into the future and planning out your food and insulin. It’s looking at your blood sugar constantly. It’s having a bad day and not being able to control your blood sugar. It is that feeling of you aren’t doing enough. This is just the surface level of things we as diabetics deal with on a daily basis. That isn’t including supplies, prices, lows and highs, doctor appointments, A1c levels, and just normal, everyday tasks we must do. So, burnout seems inevitable every once in a while.
Not to mention, those days where things just aren’t going right. One thing after another gets messed up or isn’t working correctly, we all have those moments. Then they start to pile up. The photo I used for this post was an example of that. I have been putting Dexcom sensor on for over a year now and I still messed up the adhesive part of the sensor. Is it a big deal? No. In the end, will it change anything about my life? No, it really won’t, but it is just one of those times when you think you got it and you don’t. Now I have that reminder on me for 10 days and every time I see it, I think, “Smooth move, slick”. I don’t think it even cracks the top 20 of stupid things I have probably done this week, but it was a nice face palm moment. We all mess up, it’s okay, don’t beat yourself up. I tend to make a joke about it and keep on going, and that has worked well for me the last 20 years.
While I can’t say I experienced diabetic burnout in the traditional sense these last few months, but I did realize that doing all my everyday diabetic tasks, normal stress and job stuff, along with now discussing these things much more publicly than I ever have before, can be very taxing. That is how we got here. The 3-month long break I took from this blog. For me, it was talking about something that is very personal to me, influences a lot of my decisions throughout the day, is constantly on my mind, and then turning around and trying to talk about in depth as well? Forget it! Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy talking about it and hopefully helping others out there, but when I say I already think about all day and then talk about it in my free time, it wore me down. Faster than I thought it would. So, I needed a break from the extra part of it. I went back to just focusing on myself and my own everyday diabetic health without broadcasting it to the world and it really did help. It helped take away some of the pressure, all self-inflicted pressure, I may add. I was no longer trying to help everyone, and I was just trying to help myself. It made me feel much better, and now I am back at the point of wanting to help others again. I think I just need to figure out how to balance it all and not give too much of myself in any area.
I also think the pandemic stress finally got to me. The yearlong anxiety and stress of a virus that could cause a lot of complications for a diabetic. The constant changing of guidelines, the canceling of plans with friends because you didn’t want to get sick. The fight with people who didn’t believe it was real, who didn’t believe in masks, who didn’t take proper precautions because they didn’t “have to”, they were healthy and could fight it. It is EXHAUSTING. It is hard to be told that something that could mean life or death for you, is taken so lightly by people around you. So, isolation happens, and while that was hard, I didn’t see a way around it. I won’t get too far into that today but look for my thoughts on the last year soon. I think we can all agree, it was a hard year. On top of the hard year, I took on this hard transition to now discuss something so personal to me, so publicly. I wouldn’t trade it, I have wanted to do this for a while, but the learning curve was harder than I anticipated. So that was my diabetic burnout. For some, it can be much more life threatening and I understand how one would get to that point. Of being tired and giving up, but we can’t. We can’t give up, we have been given a unique perspective on the world and it is tough, but we are all stronger because of it! We won’t let it hold us back or keep us down! We have too much to give and to do!
If you find yourself in any sort of diabetic burnout, whether it be like me, where you just get tired of the world surrounding your diabetes, take a break from the online/social media. Surround yourself with the things and people that make you feel good. If you find yourself on the end of no longer wanting to take care of yourself because you are just tired of the finger pricks, the numbers, and the daily decisions, reach out. Talk to your doctor, there are ways to change what you are doing that may help you and not put your health at risk or they can put you in contact with someone to talk to. I hope there is never a time you feel like there aren’t options, there are many, and some may change your life for the better!
To wrap up, I am really excited to be back in this community again! My time away was needed and helpful, but I am feeling incredibly hopeful for the future. While my posts may be sporadic, I hope they become a little more regular. Follow me on Facebook or Instagram, I tend to post a little more on Instagram, or send in any comments on the website. I always love an email as well at dayandnightdiabetic@gmail.com. Let me know some of the things you get tired of and burnt out with, I will try to address those in future posts. For now, I hope you are all staying safe and healthy and Happy Summer 2021!
Talk to you soon!
-Marlee